Saints Row the 3rd Special Review

Developer Volition says its goal "is to make [Saints Row the Third] the most ridiculous, over-the-top guilty pleasure in video games." After seeing how you can beat people up with a giant purple dildo while wearing a furry outfit, and then make your getaway in a hover jet with laser missiles, I'm inclined to think Volition is on the right track.

Saints Row has always been the less mature kid brother to Grand Theft Auto, offering similar open-world gameplay with bigger boobs, bigger guns, and more dick jokes. Fans will find the juvenile antics and humor intact here in Saints Row: The Third, along with some gameplay refinements that turn Saints Row into more of a cinematic experience.

There will still be plenty to do and screw with around town, but most story missions warp you to "instances," much like in World of WarCraft and other MMORPGs. Seventy-five percent of the missions in Saints Row actually take place in these instances. 

I recently got to check out the first two missions, which explain how the Saints gang gets from its hometown of Stilwater to Steelport. Saints Row: The Third opens with a Stilwater bank robbery gone wrong that finds our anti-heroes fighting through waves of armed bank employees in order to reach the vault. Driving home the ridiculous tone of the Saints Row series, the Third Street Saints are local celebrities now with two previous adventures under their belts, and they'll have to stop and sign a few autographs amidst all the gunfire.

When you find the vault, it's time to airlift the entire depository out of the bank with a helicopter, triggering a sequence that sees you struggling to maintain your footing on top of the vault as it's ripped from the building. Smashing into neighboring structures and hounded by police helicopters, the vault makes it away -- but you do not. This particular bank is owned by a shadowy organization known as the Syndicate, and although you end up their captive, they are very impressed with your work.

The Saints use some interesting disguises for the bank robbery scene.

It's a fun sequence with dynamic camera work that makes Saints Row: The Third look more like a heavily scripted action movie than a game. Taking the mission out of the anything-goes-craziness of the open world allows the developers to deliver a specific and exciting event.

The Saints aren't interested in cooperating with the Syndicate, of course, and you decide to make an escape from the private jet they're transporting you in. This launches the second mission in Saints Row the Third, which is the coolest part of the game I've seen so far. The latter half of the mission finds you freefalling, shooting down enemies that are chasing you through the sky, and trying to catch your main squeeze Shaundi in midair (she was flung from the plane without a parachute).

Once you are reunited with Shaundi you pull your parachute and enjoy a brief moment of calm – until you realize the plane is turning around and coming right at you. Much to Shaundi's dismay you toss her aside to continue her freefall, ditch your parachute, smash through the plane's cockpit window, shoot a bunch of guys inside, grab another 'chute, exit the back of the plane a second time, and rescue Shaundi again. It's a thrilling sequence; one that lands you smack in the middle of your new town of Steelport, ready to climb the local crime ladder.

That's a lot of action, and none of it happens on the streets of your open world. So what will you be doing when not running story missions? You can complete challenges such as causing a certain amount of damage with a tank before time runs out. You can kick people in the balls. You can attach sticky bombs to people, watch them hopelessly flail about, and then explode them. You can call in air strikes on unsuspecting crowds. Or, perhaps my favorite Steelport pastime is driving the man cannon -- a car with a cannon on top that can suck people up and then spew them great distances. They splatter when they land.

The heavily-scripted instances seem like they might be a nice counterpoint to the free-roaming insanity of Steelport's open world. Freedom is fun, but if developers want to tell a story they have to borrow the keys from the player.

Saints Row the Third arrives on November 15.